My own mother, the most loving and empathetic woman I've ever known, knew all of this though without me even saying it. After I sat quietly all through our family lunch, stewing in my own mixed up emotions, she pulled me aside. She handed me a small gift bag and a card. Inside was a beautiful little hanging glass cardinal and note that told me what a wonderful mother I will be and how cherished my children will be whoever they may be and whenever they may enter my life. She smiled at me as I finally let all the tears stream down my face. We didn't need to talk about it, we knew this was all that was needed in that moment.
Today a year later, I'm one step closer to being a mom. It's still a difficult day for me, I've been waiting patiently (and not so patiently) for close to 3 years now to be a mom and I'm not quite there. However, I know that my child is waiting for me and at the exact right time we will finally meet. For now I have my little cardinal to remind me each day of that truth. Somedays I pass right by it, ignoring it, because I don't want to be joyful in my wait. Somedays I stand right in front of it and remember all the pain I've already been through. Somedays I smile as I look up and see it in the window and know that no matter the journey, the end will be the most amazing experience of my life.
So today, I choose to focus on how thankful I am for a mother who has shown me what it means to have unconditional love for your children, to make immense sacrifice on their behalf, and dedicate yourself to their wellbeing. I choose to smile at my little cardinal in hope for my future as a mother. I choose to celebrate with my wonderful family, who continues to show me tremendous love and support. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it in the end.
Happy Mother's Day!
